By Xin
WITH the influx of foreign talents homing in on our little island, it is apparently more than jobs that are being taken away.
Although this topic has been done to death, it is still very much on everyone’s mind, as it is unfortunately becoming a very real situation. While local men are sitting around coffee shops lamenting about their sad state, the foreigners are taking advantage and swooping in on the local women.
What exactly is it about the alien intruders that seem to appeal so much to the local lasses? Some say it is the white superiority complex, while others maintain that it is the exotic appeal of the blue eyed and blonde haired species that stand out so conspicuously from the crowd. But surely, it takes much more than the above-mentioned superficial qualities to forge a romantic bond.
So what can the bitter Asian man do about this disturbing trend that is definitely on the rise? Plenty.
Grow up. The fact that western culture is such that if you’re still living with your parents after you’re 21, you’re considered a loser. That is a startling contrast to Asian societies where it is the norm to see adults still living with their parents long after embarking on working life. Of course this is largely due to the filial piety values imparted on us, a key point in our traditionally Asian upbringing. But does this promote maturity? Sadly, no. While college students elsewhere in the world are slogging their guts out trying to pay for their rent and support themselves through school, our young people are still being spoon-fed.
How to go around it: Try not to whine too much, for starters. Refrain from saying things like “You shouldn’t do that! Women should just stay at home and wash dishes” or begin your sentences with “My mother said that…”
Kneel down. It has been a long running joke that men here do not propose — they simply ask their prospective partners if they want to apply for a flat together. No roses, no kneeling, zilch. That aside, Asian men have been wired to be as practical as possible. Valentine’s Day gift? Sure, he’ll fork out $10k for a state of the art snazzy television set, but only because that’s something that he’ll be able to use as well. Flowers? That’s only because he’s hoping to get some tonight, in exchange for a few pollen-laden sticks.
How to get around it: It shouldn’t take that hard to do what the white man does best — indulge his lady love, until he gets her that is. Always believe that giving and taking should be highly coveted when it comes to love, that you should always get something in return when you lavish her. Of course, do not let your attempts be too thinly veiled, lest she realises it. Unless you resemble Wentworth Miller then probably you’d have to fork out a fair sum to win her heart.
Get a life. Asian men are boring — admit it. When with an Asian date, I put up with conversation topics that revolve around the same few things: NS life, NS life and NS life. Of course, there are the vaguely interesting ones, where they would try to tell you how they managed to bag 7As without trying. Nice.
How to get around it: If you haven’t noticed by now, women love to talk about themselves. All you have to do is to give them the cue to do so. For example, a good opening would be, “That’s a really awesome dress, I think red really brings out your rosy cheeks.” She’ll not only feel flattered, she’ll also start to twitter excitedly about how “I discovered red was my colour, and oh and there was this once last year, I…” You get the idea. Once the floodgates are open you can survive with minimal conversation, and still come across as a master conversationalist.
So, it is not that hard to counter the moves so regularly used by our white counterparts. Tread carefully and, if all else fails, always remember that women in Singapore outnumber the male population 52:49 so there is no lack of potential partners. Just be patient!
Disclaimer: The author wishes to add that she is happily attached to a Boring Asian Male in every aspect of the term.
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